The only reason, I have been able to post on my blog is because of the sleepless days/nights. Hope is on her own schedule & agenda. She may sleep an hour, she may sleep ten minutes. I have been trying to sleep when she does, but it is hard with Noah.
Some have asked about details, about what it is like being home with the child, who comes from a far? It is just like coming home from the hospital with a newborn! Some of you have been fortunate with a baby that sleeps..that was never my luck! Hope is totally on board with the tradition;) She behaves just as my boys did. She loves all the attention, until she's had enough and then wants down. She loves her freedom! She wants to climb evrywhere and crawl and stand..although like I said in previous posts, I don't think she is strong enough yet, even though she refuses to acknowledge this...she is a lot like her older brother Frederick-very independant..I even caught her trying to put on her own socks;) My daughter is always smiling & laughing! Not the same child we had met a couple of months back.
How am I feeling these days? I have my ups and downs..well I guess today does not count, since my parents' dog died (my childhood dog) sniff sniff..yep, its gonna be a tissue day! 'Tayla' was adopted by me when I was fifteen, she was one. She was a skinny, abused sharpe mix..(her owners mistaken her for a pitbull and tried to beat her to get aggressive..but she was not), and she was so eager to come home with me that day. I brought her home and nursed her back to health. She became my best friend. She even kind of led me to my husband, on our long walks around the block (my then neighbor lived not so far away;) As strange as it is..I think I am also sad because she died on the 11th..the same number my uncle passed in July..I'm not a superstitious person..but its weird. I am not going to mark the 11th with tragedy, because we went to court February 11 for Hope, and it was a wonderous day.
Anyway, I'm moping! I haven't had much sleep because of Hope crying and then rolling around in bed with me, (me awake, trying to make sure she doesn't fall).
I am trying to make the family work and flow smoothly, so no one notices that four kids is harder than three..I think the house knows though. I snapped at Freddy yesterday;( Because, he didn't have Hope in her carseat (mennnn)..it still was not right for me to snap and get angry, especially in front of our neighbor!
I'm a little irritable..nervous..I think its the company..its been too much on me. People's opinions, people's suggestions...the truth of the matter is, that I get annoyed by some of the ignorance, especially now that I am vulnerable-almost an open wound...like a good friend of mine once stated. Don't come to visit me to see 'the adopted orphan'..visit because of the new addition, because of our celebration of love & happiness..don't come by, expecting to see something bizarre or something for entertainment!!
Guess I am venting out to you guys today! I am defeated. I am reading biblical scriptures to lift me up at night when I can't sleep. It really helps.
Hope does not feel any different than any of my other children. She behaves the same way they did, even her affection towards me. She reaches her hand into my neck or at times under my shirt, I guess to feel my warmth and she closes her eyes and nibbles on her blankie..we are one at that moment and she feels safe.
Its hard to believe even that we made those trips to Russia 3 times! I feel like it was all but a dream...like the stories I read her. Its as if she has always been here.
P.S. Once we know more detail about this mess in Russia and we can move on...please let me know if you want Hope's snowsuit, that was also once 'Boos' (Chandra's girl). We are to pass on the snowsuit to bring home other Angels from Russia. I just washed it, and since it is warming up in Russia, there is no real need to purchase one...or if you live in a freezing state, just consider not messing up your new one and just bring home your baby in this one. Please let me know, so I can send it to you.