Thursday, July 30, 2009


You have always been there for me...what would I do without you?

I am so Blessed to have this man by my side. I love him so much..and would be so lost without him..I am sure glad I had enough sense to hurry up and marry him as quick as possible! I didn't know we were going to grow into such a big family..which makes life so EXCITING and so full of SURPRISES;)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Getting back on the adoption horse..

I stopped thinking about Adoption...I even stopped caring about anything remotley related. Because of my hurt & anger; and, most of all my great loss.
I lost someone so close to me...someone I loved so much, someone who has always cared so much about us and our family's well being. He was always encouraging me to finish my degree and to do something for myself for a change...such a fatherly spirit. So I began thinking, maybe instead of adding children to our family, maybe I should be doing something else, career related?
I thought I was going to have plenty of time to shine on Motherhood, Marriage & lastly, a Degree/Career. I was going to show my uncle that I could have it all and that marriage & children don't stop people from growing or climbing for their full potential. When learning of Arturo's passing (I say learning because I still cannot believe that he is gone), I felt so robbed and cut short of ever being able to talk to him again, or seeing him again...I just felt unready to be left in this world without him. He is really gone and the world is a colder place because of his passing. Nobody gave like he did, loved like he did, or cared like he did. No one was as talented or beautiful...God Blessed him so much..he had everything and did everything with his short young life. In the end, all that he really wanted was just to be loved and to settle down and have a family. He didn't care about fame or money or a fake entourage. The last conversation that I had with him before he died, was about a month ago, and it was about our adoption in Russia. He was very excited and could not believe that we have come so is probably one of the few things that I have done with my life so far, that he has been that happy about, or that had actually pleased him... and my husband has reminded me about this; how enthusiastic Arturo was about our adoption plans. He died knowing the changes that were about to take place in our family, and in order to give me the will & strength to stop crying and get back on the adoption horse...I must continue.

Freddy made another appointment with USCIS for our Biometric fingerprints August 4th.
I am sure glad that Freddy has taken over, and now is in control of our adoption path. Though, Lord, for only you are truly in let me know that adoption would take place in our lives, only I didn't know to what extent, yet. Arturo's baby must return from Brazil and come to our family to be raised in a nurturing, loving, environment. Lord you are putting our entire family on a firm path...please Lord give us strength to embrace these blessings of yours. Not ours but your will God.


Sunday, July 12, 2009

My Uncle's Tragic Death!

Arturo Gatti was murdered by his wife in Brazil!

He was my uncle, my brother, my father & my friend. We are going to miss him sooooo much. God had to take him away young. I know he is better off with you just hurts so much!

I do not know what to do in life anymore?

I do not know where I am going?

My whole week has been a NIGHTMARE!

I guess God was preparing me for TRAGEDY!

My mother's wedding was a FUNERAL!

He left behind a son, that my family will fight for...


Friday, July 10, 2009

Day from Hell!

You want to hear a joke or you want to hear about my AWFUL DAY?

I am seriously having the week from Hell...I already explained about the annoying USCIS situation, but we overcame that and sent all the papers and then some to USCIS. Well, soon after I started having issues with my tenants with our other property. They wanted to purchase the house, and thought how great, just in the nick of time, we will go To Russia without these 'renter problems' and will just own one home, with little debt and raise four kids etc.

WRONG! (buzzzzzzzerrrrr noise here)!
well, instead my tenants want to drop the rent and not buy the house, because we had a leak from some hard rain, and now they are claiming mold and health issues (greeaaaaat;), my husband made a claim to the insurance, he then got the leak repaired, but they now want to leave anyway and not pay for the month of July or August. The mortgage on that house is more than the one on our primary residence (go figure). So were in serious trouble!
We will put the house on the market and sell it at market value (but we don't know how long that will take)...sigh..which is the risk we are taking.

On top of that situation which has ruled over 4 days as you know was our fingerprint appointment (something positive & exciting right)...wrong ;o(
Freddy was so flustered about his day at the rental property that he FORGOT about the Biometric appointment...and so he was running late and then we got lost looking for the building..and didn't makit it in TIME! So we never got our fingerprints done! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
It is like a week from HELL! I have been hysterical. What if we can't complete this now?

The best was, when I got home I found yet another grant letter of refusal, for the that was really gonna hurt right?

What if I can't complete this anymore?

Monday, July 6, 2009

Lamentations 3:26 (NIV)


Friday, July 3, 2009

Waiting for the clouds to disappear;)

Paperwork still pending for our Adoption..

Okay, well instead of planning to enjoy tomorrow's 4th of July, I am here sitting in front of the computer, typing up a list of what still needs to be done this summer for our Adoption (and bills that need paying but I won't list that heee).

We are currently waiting for:

My Social Worker to receive the DCF clearance (Child abuse) under Fred's birth name.

FDLE (State of Tallahassee Law Enforcement clearance) also under those names.

Fingerprint appointment on July 10th at 3 pm (atleast some progress).

I can't send this envelope full of papers, until I receive the DCF & FDLE clearances under the other names.

Once we finally send these things off, and have done the fingerprints, we then patiently wait for our I 171H,...which will need to be copied/notarized/Apostilled in Tallahassee, then sent to my Agency to send off to Russia..HAAAAAAAAAA! Don't you love the ladder of paperwork?

My Nonna comes tomorrow from Canada for my mother's'd think that would keep me busy...but mind wanders off to the little baby girl in Russia..SIGHHH! I dyed my hair black..eeeeek, by accident...eeek..I thought it was dark chocolate...its very dark, and I have a peach dress, I seriously need a tan and..I dunno a nice hair do? I am such a space cadette these days, I am also very very very TIRED! I don't know why...sometimes I worry about how am I going to do it all? If I am tired now? Is it the stress of paperwork? guys are great, supporting me and listening to my nonsense & jibberjabber ;o)

James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.