Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Completed Homestudy=A Completed Testimony

Well it has not been an easy process thus far-China is definitely, a different process compared to Russia. No matter what I shouldn't complain, because we are blessed beyond recognition. We have been matched to a perfect little girl, and we've experienced minor bumps compared to what others have gone through-so I bite my tongue. I have not expressed myself the way that I would have liked on the other hand. Maybe it is because I am so busy with homeschooling and with completing this dossier, (its been like pulling teeth). I have to say CCAI is a great adoption agency that really cares for their clients and these children. We were assigned a great social worker, and we have been walking on a very different journey this time around to China. I was never open about my past on this blog. But I feel as though if I am going to be honest on this blog...and if I am going to tell my girls everything about their past, I might as well start with mine first. I started to process this during this homestudy. They ask you some specific questions to ensure safety and backround checks. One question that echoed in my mind was when our sw asked us if we have ever been victimized or an offender of sexual abuse and/or violence. Of course we're not offenders...but I was once a victim of abuse. And so I explained this to our sw this time around, and I knew I could be subjected to more paperwork or questions. I had to get a psychological evaluation! Obviously, if you say Jesus healed me, they are going to raise their eyebrows. I actually am living for this...for the first time in my life I am embracing all the ridicule, the pessimism and the comments. It is so much easier to believe crazy weight loss regimens, crazy partying experiences than it is to be believe in spritual healing from our Lord, Jesus Christ. Well how about believing that my biological father was my abuser? A man who abused my mother, my sister and even my baby brothers. So yes, abuse is my testimony. I have always been a believer thanks to my mother, who passed her hope and faith on to us. Perhaps the names of my daughters are not so coincidental after all. I have never really understood certain things until more recently. My passions: are the children; especially the abused, abandoned & fatherless children. My passion is retelling the story of the redemption, that God has given me in my own life and the countless miracles that have rescued us. Now you understand why it is I felt, that my daughter Hope should have a sister. It is because I adore my sister who has walked through every part of life with me. My best friends are my mother and sister; because together with God, we lived a life of hope and faith. We have been a trio of women, that God has protected and blessed countlessly. We desire to share these blessings with others too. We desire to be the hands and feet of Christ, where His name is spread by our witnessing and testimony. So often it is the same headlines in the news; the same helpless victims, and the same stories of abuse. There will never be true justice for these things on earth, I know this first hand. My uncle's murderer was never charged for his death and my father only served 7 years for the abuse he inflicted on us. My sister and I later went to to write a book about our testimony; released in the province of Quebec 'Le coeur au beurre noir' which revealed our identities, as his daughters. We did this because he remained in denial, of what he had done and we knew that he would be let out soon enough to perhaps, cause more harm to others. To this day, he states that he is a 'born again Christian' but he is still in denial of his actions. He is remarried to a young woman who is younger than me, and she has recently given birth to a baby girl. To add insult to injury, he defends the woman who murdered my uncle and says he sympathizes with her because they have both been wrongly accused. I don't know what God is doing exactly, just today I read this verse As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. Ecclesiastes 11:5 NIV So I will take this verse and trust what He does because He transformed my horror story into a work of love, grace & mercy and I love my life...all of it...even the bad parts because it made me who I am today, and it has blessed me by helping others. When I help others, I also help myself understand God better and His love for His children. We can't save the world, but we can help the world of 1 child...maybe 2 or more if you're very fortunate;) I read this article that if every Christian stood up and adopted atleast 1 child, there wouldn't be any orphans. And there are all kinds of opportunities, there is sponsorship, fostercare etc. There is even the mission field...where you just go and visit the fatherless, love on them and pray for them. I know God has great plans for keep seeking Him. Something that was major for to learn is "obediance is greater than sacrifice" 1 Samuel 15:22 for some obediance is easier for others maybe sacrifice is easier...for me it was easier to sacrifice, because it was all I've ever known to do. I am learning obediance now, because this is my weakness I know this pleases God. So really push yourself in your walk...don't settle...this life is too short to settle for less. Things that have been going on around here: Our kids are finishing up their PE group and receiving their awards next week We are now growing a vegetable garden and contuning with purchasing organic community shares to save money and eat healthier. We are travelling to Denver Colorado this weekend God willing. We are starting a Bible Community group in our home. We still need to take more family photos for China with my hair color remaining the same color. We have started preparing Faith's crib and buying some extra clothes. We are still praying for the nations of the world. We have made new friends in the homeschooling community-its been so wonderful. We are learning Mandarin. Tomorrow my husband and I will be celebrating 12 years of marriage.

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