Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Orchestra of feelings..
James 1:27 Religion that God accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after Orphans & Widows in their distress….
Well I am happy to announce that we are second in line for a Eurasian/Asian girl 24months & under! We will probably be traveling in the fall! YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I feel so anxious; especially during this adoption process, your always thinking okay just one more step to getting closer...but your never close enough!
I thought I would feel so relieved once our Dossier would be sent off..and then I would stop holding my breath keep myself busy with the boys. I have to thank God my boys are great! They keep themselves busy, they only need me for breakfast/luch/supper..oh and laundry too.
Freddy & I started on this adoption journey ever so cautiously. During our wonderful experience with our social worker (homestudy); we began falling in love with this little girl we were going to call Hope. I felt like I couldn't get through the paperwork fast enough. There was always some unique obstacle for us. I was a Canadian and not a U.S. Citizen, or the money wouldn't be there to ever even fathom the idea of an International Adoption..so doubt began giving birth to fear!
Perhaps the idea of us having a little girl, would be just a fantasy and would never happen. Though, when we'd attend Church every service became a stronger message than the next; and more than just the heart's desire, began speaking to me.
I felt painful desires to raise a girl, painful desires for just one child more in our family. The excess of necessity, for parents for unwanted children, started revealing itself to me as well. It is more than just adding to our family now, it is also a duty to help these children who need a family. I find myself asking at times, if it will only be one more? I know I will be at max with 4 kids, but how do I know? How am I going to go to Russia and leave all the rest of the children there? Only God knows what that day will be like, or wether I will have a better understanding of why, things are the way that they are. We can only trust God for those answers and for the reasoning.
Also; Freddy, does not want to paint Hope's room until the very last minute! Grrrrrr. I must know deep down that he is right...but I don't want to feel that our reasons are 'superstitious'. Christians are not supposed to be 'superstitious'! We are not to make too many plans ahead of ourselves, but we are not to believe in 'luck' or 'superstition' either. Acts 4:28 (NIV)28 They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. Also a very powerful one is
Colossians 2:8–10 (NIV)8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. 9 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10 and you have been given...
These days I have friends all throwing their cribs at me, (maybe reason I am so tempted to start room), and I think its kind of funny....because I don't have a baby girl yet, but it sure is nice to know, that when that time comes, I will have a lot of help & support.
Okay; I have blabbed enough..guess I am trying to hide the fact that my I 171 has not arrived yet, let alone the Biometrics appointment...gee I sound like a broken record!