I guess its time for another post as Faith is coming out of her shell. She continues to babel in Chinese. Her file said that she only said 'Mama' and 2 families refused her because they thought she had low intellect. Some of the doctors we spoke to also said that her file was too risky because of her intellect. I must say, that Faith is very intelligent! So intelligent that she does not like a lot of the changes that has occurred in a short period of time. Every time we moved to a new room and she was in a new crib she cried-all night long. When we placed her into her official crib at home, she has been crying-all night long. So we are not getting great rest on top of the time change-its been confusing for all of us I guess. Faith is also very picky with foods. She refuses the formula we bought in China, milk, juices and anything else we've given to her in a bottle and cup. She likes water...and so that is what she has been drinking mainly. She has been eating chicken and meat, something she refused in China (which was frankly better there). We're glad that her appetite is getting better here. Our neighbors from Taiwan brought over congee for her-how sweet is that? She loves the congee, and our friends have it made with chicken broth and shreds of chicken that she likes a lot. Today marks the first real day that she has been cruising around the house by foot. Her walking is somewhat wobbly though which has us so nervous. We don't know if she is wobbly because of her spine or hips or if she is wobbly because her legs are just weak because of diet? She is what you can call a 'flappy baby'. Hope was like this as well when she left the orphanage in Russia. So I don't know if this is because they have not received protein, did not get many chances to walk around in the orphanage. But her being so fragile makes us nervous when she's bumping into things and/or when our boys are trying to hold her or play with her. She continues to suck her them (drives me nuts) as you can see what it has done to her teeth;( but I guess a day at a time, as we now try to line up doctor appointments and brace ourselves for what lies ahead in the next few weeks. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss...I'd rather not know than know at this point. I just want to love on her and feed her and watch her laugh and play as we get to know her better. I sometimes wonder what she is thinking. Am I another nanny to her at this point? I know she likes us...but she knows we're clueless about what it is she wants at times. The other night she cried at 3am and so I went to pick her up and I placed her in bed, next to us to try and comfort her. She continued to whine and so I asked her "what is the matter with you tonight?" She opened her eyes and then pointed to my sleeping husband! Poor Freddy! So I put her back in her crib with a bottle of water. I must say it is more challenging with an older child. I know Faith knows a lot and she is feeling as though we have taken her away from home. We are definitely building a bridge a of trust with her and it will take time. I also want to add that my connection with her has been very good. I feel that she is my daughter and I lay awake thinking how amazing is it, that another woman carried a child meant for me? I adore Faith and feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be her mother. But I am rusty! At church yesterday I forgot to bring a bag with her diapers and bottle and change of clothes. Those are things that I no longer did with my kids...so I need to refresh a little. We have been nothing but blessed with great neighbors, friends and church family who have brought over foods and have brought over clothing in which I didn't realize I was lacking...because Faith is a lot tinier than we had expected. We're content...and the children are as well. Noah's birthday is coming up around the corner and this will be the first year that he will not be sharing it with Hope-So I am excited for him. I will have Hope and faith share a birthday instead in order to give the big boys their space and much do attention. I have made it my New Year's resolution to not start planning things for myself. I will let God put my schedule together day by day. That may sound like a big deal but its really rest for me and such a refreshing thing. I am trying to put aside my foolishness. Let God do what He does...it is just so evident that God is in charge of our lives. Having Faith around feels like its always been. Everything feels as it should and that she was meant to be here all along. My sweet husband says the same despite her fear towards him. We just feel so blessed and pray God gets all the Glory. It is God who has mended this family whole. It is God who has broken our hearts and equipped our hearts for adoption. The cry of the orphan is God's burden and He allowed us to hear as well. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Amen.