Ohhhhh this date forever remains embedded in my heart and special! Today was our offical D.O.E. meeting in Russia, one year ago exactly! With our nerves shot, jet lag and a long sleepless, unsure night...we were numb. Until they presented us with a little black and white photo of a baby girl. I had seen this little face before in the data registry, but never considered this girl as a possibility for us, because she was too young, born only in 2009! We were also lucky enough to be able to leave and meet our daughter right away...well I wasn't sure if she was really going to be our daughter but I was sooo excited to be at this stage in the adoption!
When we drove up to the baby house #3 (the orphange for babies with mental disorders); it was ever so cold, and everything was just frozen, the squeaky gate opened and we were minutes away from seeing the child that was for so long kept inside thise building.
Inside a dark dreary room we waited, where some plants were kept, and a little goldfish swam...the only highlight of the room, along with all the old toys that were neatly on a shelf. Did we really come all this way for our child? Was this really going to be our child? Was this a predestination?
In came the translator, as she sat us down and began going over the little girl's history. No name, just the birth mother's supposed name and minimal info. They had the girl as mentally delayed, hypoxic ischemia, vision problems, and weak bones. I knew that all these children would be listed with such diagnosis and that I had to be aware of the health and condition of the child....a lot for a parent to go through when you are just meeting your child, and after waiting so long and traveling afar......only we IA parents can understand as to why we are willing to go through all of this.
Soon after a baby was brought in a teeny blue dress. She was so chubby, and he hair had been cut bluntly. She was pale and coughing....I absolutely froze! She looked much different than the picture, and her crying was so loud. I needed to ask myself if I was right for her? Thank God my husband Freddy took over and immediately embraced the screaming baby. I finally found the mother instincts in me and went to take over....even if she was going to persist screaming, I just held her close and let her cry. She had right to cry, she had been through so much already....she didn't know what a mother and father was.
When we were finally left alone we pulled out a blanket and placed it on the floor, where we played with her and tested her reflexes and got to know who this little girl really was. She didn't smile or wasn't ticklish, but she sure loved snuggling. We even took her out of her too tiny blue dress and dressed her in her first Christmas dress. Watching my husband dance with her, and twirl her around was just darling.....the best Christmas ever! We ended this day by changing her name, and giving her one of her very own, along with her mommy & daddy's name.
Hope Isabel, we are approaching your first real Christmas...and I cannot wait to see your face, this Christmas maybe the one you remember as your first, I remember my first Christmas with you when we were in Russia together....I am sure this year will be another memorable one with you, for you are so alive now and so aware. God Bless you Angelka!