Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I am just very very sad these days...I feel as though I have been doing nothing but grieving. Also, every new day and encounter just turns into something sadder for me. I am not taking the world's problems on my shoulders..because, trust me, mine are quite large enough! My uncle Arturo's case just gets worse and more complex with each passing moment. My family's grief has just spread out and turned into individual, vulnerability and darkness...with me trying to catch everyone and lift them..leaving me weak and exhausted..and sad..again. This adoption has also made my head spin at times..such strange twists of the wheather..south Florida wheather even..totally unpredictable! YA YA YA...that's IA for you..bla bla bla..its torture.

My sister just found out that she is having another boy, who may have cysts in his brain (choroid plexus). I don't want to go into too much detail because it is just too painful for me right now..I am having one of those 'can't really breathe' moments. I know if we pray these cysts will disapear (as the doctor said they could by 28 weeks)..but if it is God's will that they don't, then there is a reson for everything and my sister will have him and raise him no matter what. Please pray for my family in this time of test & grief.
Health is all that is important...I hurt for my sis, because I just feel her young life has been nothing but a long rocky road. It just pains see her not getting all that she deserves in this life; she is abeautiful person, inside and outside..and she deserves the best. I have my days where I wish we could switch, or I rather take on her burdens then see her go through them..she's my lil sis..I just want to protect her.

I give it to you LORD ALMIGHTY...I give my burdens and her burdens to you..please lift her up and bless her in a MIGHTY WAY GOD.



findingourdaughter said...

Sending you big hugs! I am taking each day as it comes and time is actually passing faster than I had imagined.....which is good and sad all at the same time.
Hugs and Blessings!

Chandra said...

I'm sorry you're down right now sweetie. Hang in there, things will change quickly and soon you'll be happy again.

Anonymous said...

when it rains it pours, but after every storm comes sunshine... keep it strong ... your baby needs that... every day that goes by you are one day closer to holding her in your arms, and then you will much better.. adoptions adventure is just arond corener and I can notwait to follow your story....