Yeah yeah I know..I suck!
We arrived in London on Monday morning; checked into a hotel and drank some coffee, to fight off the fatigue and whent sight seeing. let me tell you, I totally have found my new favorite place...LONDON TOWN! It's romantic, elegant, fashionable..and the architecture & food was amazing! I really loved it...and spent a lot of money there too..hehe. I just could not help myself. I had to buy a doll for Hope and little English cars for the boys..it was sooo fun with lots to do, but it was chilly and we had very little time.
okay, so we stayed the night there, and left early the next morning for Russia. This is why I figured I would not post since it wasn't adoption related (hear my excuse;)
Well we have arrived! We had landed in a different airport this time and so again, it felt like the first time in Russia;)We then got picked up by our driver...and we asked him if there was anyway to see Hope today, and he said that he did not arrange it but could, if we really wanted to..and of course we did. So we went to see Hope! While we anxiously waited, we took out the camera, and whatever else I could find in my purse (since I had left our luggage in the car)..and then, they brought her out..Goodness did she grow! She had much longer hair, and she looked taller, she now has 3 teeth on the bottom..and she was wearing the same dress..hmmmm. Anyway, we were so delighted to see our girl...or doll I should say! It brought our reality back into perspective. I felt more like her mommy today, although, she cried a lot! The majority of the 1 hour we were there..she cried! She was soo afraid..and she sobbed hard. I felt terrible for her. Freddy said that is definitley what she will be doing on the flight home...poor thing. I tried to give her peices of brownie that I had bought, which helped a lot..although she keeps pushing it out with her tongue..she is not able to chew yet. She does stand alone though (this made me feel like we have already missed so much;( Well after the crying and us trying to soothe her (which didn't help much) I tried to look at it in a positive perspective, she is getting older and she is incredibly smart, she did not remember us, and does not like strangers. She was constantly looking for her caregiver..which is all a very good sign on her attachment..and it is good that she is crying and realizing that change is about to begin. Her crying even made me realize how soon it will happen..and we both will go through a lot in the process..maybe it won't be easy, but in the end, it will all be worth it. I am willing for her to hate me first before she loves me (if that makes any sense). Later, when the caregivers probably could not stand to hear cry and us torment her any longer..they said it was time for her to go;) I was ok with that, because she was quite overwhelmed. The Medical doctor needed a ride to the metro, along with one of the caregivers, who happens to be Hope's main caregiver..she said in russian, that if we had any questions along the way in the car that we were welcome to ask her. So we took advantage of an opportunity and asked away. They both answered effortlessly, and confidently also..as if they knew their Hopee very well..I was kind of jealous;( They had cared for her and watched over her for the past year..they said that she was not afraid of baths, that she is now in another grupa since she is a year old, and that she now only sleeps twice day. Also, that she drinks from a cup, and has all her food mashed..so hence the lack of chewing. Also, no milk or formula ;( Sheeesh.. it really will be a rough adjustment for us now won't it? I really will look at all this and think, everything about this experience, is going to be about mother & daughter adjusting...my boys were a cinch..Hope's gonna be a pinch, hehe? I am actually quite happy now that, this trip ended up the way that it did. Not that its over..we still have quite a few hurdles to cross, just that Hope needs time. Also this apartment we got is pretty bad! The window just flew open when i typed that..brrrrrr! FREDDY!!! Haha..I am laughing now..but we got it cause we thought we'd stay the 10 days and it is close to the baby home..but it is a far cry from the last apartment we stayed at. Welcome to Russia! The stove barely works (we bought groceries already), the fridge doesn't work well, its all ugly! Though, the grocery store is easy to navigate. also, the staff has been very kind; one of them actually walked us all the way to the store, and waited as we shopped..he was so kind! We offered to buy him something but he refused...so on another spectrum, about this apartment & location..is that there is a huge park where we saw kids tobaggening, and we saw parents with their children playing (we did not see this downtown). Its very quiet and not so pushy and fast paced...and the kindness that's valuable all on its own, especially where there is a language barrier. Russia's other side I guess. First we were strangers..now we are calling it cozy;) It will take us 3 trips to get the full picture I think. Tomorrow we go to see Hope again, I plan on being prepared this time, maybe buy her a lollipop (like the first time) highly recommended! Also I will bring her dolls and dress her up again and take more pics. I hope she will be happier..she had a little scrape on her nose today..see what happens when a Mommy is not here;( Looks like all 4 of my kids had a tough week last week, even 2 of my boys had fallen and earned bumps. We actually saw other children today and heard children..it was good but it was still sad..I wish I could take them all home;( Okay that's it..if I start on this topic I'll drench the laptop! The internet connection here is already weak..and guys its really COOOOLLLLD here with very strong winds..we're on the 22nd floor..yeah don't ask..leave it to Fred to pick out a place..never again! Anyway, we're livin it up like Russians! Don't feel too bad for us though, cause we have a beautiful daughter out here!
Good Night;)
